Got Hair?

Why you should never raise your arms in public places.

Don't stare at my armpit!

You'll never know if there is anybody taking a picture of you.

Nice Cake Makes Me Puke

On Saturday, we all celebrated my sister's birthday in advance. My mum bought a small cake for us to eat.

Slurp, Yum Yum!

Nice cake, even with my favourite cherries on top. Yummy!

Fuck.

But, such a sight makes me have no mood for the cake anymore.

Stupid Questions

Yesterday, I was forced to cut my hair by my dad because I lost a bet with him. I went to the shop for my haircut.

Lady: Boy, jian tou fa arh? (Boy, cutting hair?)
Me: Arh. (Yes.)

What a stupid question. During the haircut, I thought to myself what if I answered it my way.

Lady: Boy, haircut?
Me: No lah, I want to buy laksa.
Lady: We don't sell laksa here.
Me: Oh, what about chicken rice?
Lady: Excuse me, this is a saloon and we don't sell food.
Me: Alright, give me a can of coke then.
Lady: FUCK YOU! GET OUT!

I went to school today and one of my friend asked me...

Friend: Eh, you go cut hair?
Me: No la, my hair drop.

Typical idiots with their stupid questions.

I've Grown

Spot me and win! Hint: I'm in this photo.

I saw this picture and my memories of my primary school years came back. Running away by the back door during class, playing soccer with my friends who look down on me because I wasn't good back then. Our fun times together...

Spot me and win! Hint: The boy squatting down beside looks like a straighten banana taking a shit.

2005, I'm with a whole different bunch of people. This pic was taken on Tuesday before the soccer match. Gary Wong is about to leave for Hong Kong and we don't know if we'll see him again. Good luck Gary in whatever you do! We'll miss you.

Match Day

Today's match was CVSS (Compassvale Secondary School) vs CVSS Alumni (Alumni means Ex-Cvss Students [Graduates]).

*bish* "You think you lesser hair than me I scared you!?"

When the refree blew the whistle, I started punching my opponent. Wait, it was suppose to be a soccer match.

"Why yellow card? I thought it was supposed to be a boxing match!"

Anyway I didn't punch my opponent. Don't ask me to write out what happen during the match. I didn't bother to remember. You think I would keep thinking on what to write on my blog when playing? I was putting my mind on the match. We've to win this.

"Don't show me your monkey face. At least show me a cow's face. Reminds me of milk."

All I remembered was the ball was hard and I've to keep heading the ball. Now, my head still hurts.

Teammate: Please Joseph, can I kiss you? I need the motivation.
Joseph: Alright mate. Do what you want... and I will charge accordingly, pay by cash only.

Gary Wong scored 3 goals and Gary Lim scored only just one. The final score was 4-3. After that match, we overheard those bunch of fucking sore losers saying "Such team also we can lose".

Big M - Strawberry Milk

I went down to 7-11 just now to see if I could get anything. I saw this really cool bottle at the bottom right of the fridge. Strawberry Milk! No more small stupid packets of Strawberry Milk for me.

Big M Strawberry Milk - Brings Out The Real Man in You

It cost $1.95 and you can even keep the nice bottle after finishing the milk. Should I use it in school?

Little Brother. Not that little brother.

I watched this show at Mum's place. I'm too lazy to write about it. I give this show 3 out of 5 stars. But, I would always remember this show that really makes me want to cry, left a deep impression in me. Little Brother doesn't.

My Secret Recipe

The four of us went to Compass Point to study. Ming Xuan, Chew Mui, Rajiv and me. We were supposed to be studying at the library but I received a call that to meet them at Burger King. I thought "Here goes my studying plan". Sure enough when I reached there, I didn't have any mood to study.

What happens when you've a friend working at Burger King counter? Yes, a lot of food for almost no price.

I think the Burger King in Compass Point will have to close down because of the loss they made today. We took a lot of stuffs. Ice Milo, burgers etc. Since there was so much food, I decided to create my own recipe, Joseph's Mashed Potatoes.

What you need is simple. Some fries...

Put all of them into your mouth and start chewing. Spit out the contents. The mashed potatoes is done.

To add design and flavour, take a french fries (or french fry?) and an onion ring and stuff them on top.

Final step, stuff everything into your mouth. Enjoy!

If Life Was A Traffic Light

People face obstacles in their life. Be it minor or major problems, they'll have to solve it somehow. I'm going to throw away the funny side of me in this post and write about something serious. I'm sorry if I bore you with this post... Wait! Why should I say sorry? If you're not interested, get lost.

If only life was in the form of a traffic light. Why?

I can change my colour, my mood, as and when I like. Green, Orange (I don't think they call the middle one "orange") and Red. These colours can represent my mood and I will stay green (happy) all the time. The cars (my life) can go past smoothly. If I turn red (bad mood) one day, the cars (my life) and the drivers (my family and friends) will come to a halt and won't be able to continue smoothly like it did before. I would rather stay green.

If only life was in the form of a traffic light. Why?

I can have a direction to tell me where I should move. I wouldn't be stuck in a place because I don't know how to move on. I can also tell another person in need. Everybody would be moving towards that direction and life wouldn't be so complicated. But if somebody decides to move against the direction, the only result is that he will get knocked down by a car because he made the wrong decision.

If only life was in the form of a traffic light. Why?

We will get to know when we're going to die. 19 seconds, 19 minutes, 19 hours, 19 days, 19 weeks, 19 months, 19 years. If we get to know when're we going to die, we can do what we want to do and die without any regrets.

If only life was in the form of a traffic light. If only.

But we aren't. We have got to decide our mood, we have got to find our direction in life. Although we can't get to know when we'll die but we can grab the opportunity and do what we want to do.

Cheer up "twin". This post is partly for you too. I don't know how come I can write so complicated stuffs also. Smile always!

Note: I spent 50mins of my life writing this post. Even though you only need 5 minutes to read it, I hope the contents will stay with you guys (and girls, and you "twin) for a long long time.

Revenge Is Sweet

Still remember this post? I said will hate this red hair stupid idiot who is such a bad role model for innocent people like me. I think people have helped me get my revenge on him by using his *ahem* as an ashtray.

What a guy he is. To be still able to smile when you've a burnt *ahem* (I was talking about his pants) is good. But, I still hate you.

To McDonald's Management: I did not burn him there. I didn't mean to influence people to help me burn him there. It was never my intention. All I did was draw on his butt with my permernant marker when I was young. I licked it clean already.

Prata Land

Yesterday we all went down to Jalan Kayu for dinner.

As usual, there was Mee Goreng and Milo Dinosaur for me. Going down to Jalan Kayu doesn't mean you must eat Roti Prata right? If that's the case, go Geylang must find girl?

Actually before going there, they have already planned to whack me 16 times because I "escaped" on Wednesday. Rajiv sent a SMS to everyone of them - except me of course. But, since I've the brains of a good policeman. I knew about their plan, but I act as if I don't know anything.

This photo was taken secretly. The next few you're about to see was taken secretly too.

Please don't feel shy about seeing your pictures up here. I've no intention to take them. It was all my finger's fault. Anyway, the uncle gave me a free prata because I did a gay stunt with Terry. Taking the satay from his mouth. After that, Rajiv dragged me to a dark place and they beat me up. At first it was painful but after that it became like a massage because they were only kick my legs.

After that we all went to the bus stop and Gary climbed up there.

Suddenly, the police came out from nowhere and shot him in the head because they thought he was an alien. He was pronounced dead on the spot. I've to go for his funeral later.

I was just kidding about the police part.